Seeing the Light

These last thirty days have been filled with hopes, projections and memories of LJ's first year of life. He and I have been constant companions during his HBOT therapy and I think we're both SO looking forward to a break. It has been and IS an accomplishment. I have endured tears, screaming, ears popping, endless squirming & even frothing at the mouth when LJ's secretions get too voluminous for him to handle. And I wish I could say the time flew by, but at least there is a light at the end of the tunnel folks; next Friday will be the last session for a little while!! I find myself daydreaming about days where therapy ceases to show up on the schedule. I have glimpses of weekday "laziness". I imagine what it is like to not have to fight to do "spoon sessions" with Noodles and the thought of  taking a leisurely walk together with Tango until we feel like heading to a cafe to meet a friend for a cup of coffee and a playdate.  That's ridiculous though, right. I know it doesn't fit our "norm". But still, I feel so lucky that we've seen a little progress and we continue to have the time to enjoy life's little moments. Like LJ's two new teeth that have cut in about half way.  Like when Nate sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to Lewis when he was grimacing in pain and clasping his chest with his fists towards the end of a feed.  It was like magic.  Lewis calmed down. I wanted to have LJ so he and Nate could have one another to love.  Of course, they have both shown me such love on so many different levels.  It's scary and awesome all at the same time.  I wish I could have it all without having any of the fears.  Wish Fairy, are you out there?