L'il Bit Crunchy

HBOT is over! The speech pathologist has ordered LJ this communication device to help him express his needs: Talk Board. The physiatrist has prescribed botox (don't know what we are doing yet but I'd like some if he's getting some) to help Noodles relax his right hand and right ankle in addition to an orthotic called a DAFO#4 to help improve his gait (he'll have to wear them in both his shoes). Things are heading towards the intensive feeding program at New Jersey's St. Joseph Children's Hospital next month-we will be gone for five weeks.  I talked about it in this post here. We had a great visit with the pulmonologist earlier this week.  He didn't think the fluid in LJ's ears looked terrible plus he thought we could wait awhile to have tubes put in LJ's ears.  And yesterday I had the luxury of time on my side and I was lucky enough to get to yoga class. It was the first time in what felt like 100 years. After some stretching, some breathing and basically torturing my poor body,  the teacher said something at the conclusion of shavasana that stopped me in my tracks. It spoke to my heart.

For those of you unfamiliar with shavasana, it is 10 minutes of bliss... lying on your back in complete and utter relaxation. No toddlers needing me to play legos. No dog barking incessantly. No baby requiring me to be a mind-reader. Usually though, my mind wanders in cluttered thoughts worrying about the boys, phone calls to doctors and fighting with insurance. The instructor said, Fear limits you. It's harmful. It keeps you stuck in a place of negativity. Your mind cannot progress . You have to hold yourself accountable. We are our teachers.

The real practice of yoga happens when we step off our mats and step into life....I vowed right then to practice getting rid of my fears.  I can't be limited by worry.  LJ is teaching me-life is teaching me. Of course we are changed and we are marked by life's past experiences.  Our past is always with us.  But I can now see the possibility to see ourselves...and to shape ourselves to our own choosing.  We can move beyond the limits that nature has imposed on LJ and on our family.  It was such a powerful message yesterday. We have the power to adapt. I look forward to creating new realities and new ways of being for both Nate + Lewis.

LJ Out and About_3.7.2010 from Jenn S on Vimeo.